Archive for the ‘Brilliant!’ category

How Now Brown Cow?

May 15, 2011

Today we travelled a short distance from home in  our trusty little pickup (we decided not to go for an example of the ubiquitous 5+ litre monster pickups to avoid remortgages in order to put fuel into such a beast) and went to collect a quarter of a cow. Fortunately the hapless animal had already been despatched, butchered and packaged for our convenience, but we still picked it up from the farm at which it had lived its entire life. Why? For a few reasons really; it’s nice to know about the life of the animal we plan to chow down upon; it’s nice to NOT be eating meat which has been quite literally living in a massive field of sh*t somewhere in North America; it’s a lot cheaper than buying the meat from the supermarket; it brings us into personal contact with local suppliers and finally among the top reasons is that we now have a chest freezer almost entirely filled with meat (pork as well) – we had to take some stuff out just to close the lid! This is the second time we’ve done this and I tell you that for the cost of two weekly shopping trips it feels surprisingly good to know that we have our protein needs looked after. Add to this that we are growing (mostly with my lovely wife’s enthusiastic efforts) a garden full of vegetables to help keep us going through the summer, autumn and winter, we hope to reduce our monthly food bills significantly. It fits with our aim to simplify our lives so that we don’t feel the pressure of the rat race beckoning us back.

What a bunch of plankers

May 15, 2011

So, according to this news item, an Australian planker has died after (and I think the health and safety exec. would consider this a foreseeable risk) falling off his stomach and seven storeys from the balcony rail upon which he was planking… http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13389207

It seems that the practice of planking in public places has become very popular but I’m happy to say that I haven’t yet found anyone committing the act in a public place – well not since my policing days anyway.

Apparently people get their kicks planking in unusual and public places and taking photographs of themselves doing it. The photographs are then posted online in social networks so that all their curious friends can see how they look when they are having a really good plank.

Many incidents involve multiple-person planking which must look very strange to any non-planking passers-by, but maybe it makes them want to go home and have a quick plank themselves. I understand that it’s not unusual for men and women to plank together or at least in the same location and I’m sure that gives each plank a little extra zest. It’s also good to see that this isn’t gender specific and both men and women can get the same thrill out of having a plank.

I’m sure that planking per se is not a new phenomenon (indeed in the past I may have planked once or twice myself) but the spreading of images online of people planking in public is a new twist. I’m not sure if facial expression is part of the fun but I imagine people planking with their tongue between their teeth would be a common one, as well as planking with eyes screwed tight shut, eyes crossed or mouth wide open – what fun.

In a way it’s a shame people are limiting themselves to planking in public places because I’m sure there are lots of places for people to plank inside the home. Nevertheless I have heard of people successfully planking in some very risky outdoor spots, such as on top of fences, train seats, the top deck of buses, at the side of a swimming pool, in a bar – apparently the options are endless.

Anyway all this talk has given me an idea and I’m off to have a very quick plank (I’m not yet sure how long one is supposed to plank before it is considered a complete plank) on the back of the settee, or maybe on the dining table or if I’m feeling very daring, plank on the kitchen counter. In the meantime, to all those plankers out there – happy and safe planking!