New life.

Ove the last three years my life has changed dramatically, going from married family man to separated family man to “Oh my god I’m in love with my teenage sweetheart again’ family man to divorced family man, and now “Oh my god I’m actually married to my teenage sweetheart” blended family man. Over the course of this period of time I have re-appraised my life to a certain extent. My family remains my most important life component and everything revolves around it.

Last year, whilst experiencing significant success at work, I decided after much consideration to give it all up. While I was successful at work I didn’t enjoy the role at all, and really I was operating at less than 50% of my capacity. With the support of my wife-to-be, I resigned from a well-paid job at the age of 45, and began to look at life anew.

Now I’m not talking about a classic throw-it-all-away change, we bought a house near to my former marital home in order to be near to my kids – whose custody I share 50/50 with my ex – we didn’t go off-grid (although it’s an ambition), I haven’t grown dred/dreadlocks (my follicles would no doubt burst out laughing at the thought) or taken to wearing only organic fibres. Come to think of it, the very last point may be one to aspire to, however.

Now, aged 46, I find myself very much in love and in some ways feeling like a teenager again (only hopefully wiser). I am not a new person, in fact in a sense what has happened to me is the emergence of an old version of me, but perhaps with the extremes trimmed away. It’s a version of me I prefer to the previous one – I’m happy, I’m far less stressed and I am able to communicate my love for those close to me in a far more complete way as a result. In the best way for me, it’s a new lease upon life. I need to love, and I need to be loved. My new life provides me with opportunities to fulfill both of those needs in new ways.

I’m looking for new work now, but I’m happy and content – in fact elated and delighted – to be with my wife and to share our blended family. Life continues to provide surprises!

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4 Comments on “New life.”

  1. Ahh that’s lovely! You and me and synchronicity – I too am in love and un employed.

    Can you play an instrument?

  2. elsimmo Says:

    I don’t own that particular Police album. Stop dreaming about you and me in that way, it’s not healthy.

    Instrument – hmmm…washboard…one handed keyboard (a bit)…erm…well really (assumes operatic pose), my instrument is my voice…la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa…see? Other than that I can play air everything.

  3. Didn’t we used to sing “I surrender” by Rainbow in the changing room of the school pool after swimming lessons?

    • elsimmo Says:

      Ummmm…not sure about Rainbow…however quite possible, we were young and foolish (as opposed to middle aged and foolish). I, for instance, was into ELO and Queen and found stuff like Rainbow to mostly be a bit pretentiously superior…
      I’ve experienced the thrill of stage adulation only a few times, each time when singing (and very sadly that includes karaoke). It’s something I find very attractive and performing would no doubt be addictive once I built up the confidence to do so, but it’s unlikely to happen. Funny in a way – as a police trainer I used to be ‘on stage’ in front of a class every day, dealing with (on the whole) intelligent adults who tested me in every lesson. I loved it but getting there was a very intense process and it’s something I am very proud of because it was so far out of my comfort zone. I envy your confidence to get up on stage at such an early age, and to still be putting the product up there for approval. I think I’d be a nervous wreck.

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